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juggalette43125

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Once A Year [15 Dec 2007|10:31pm]
Whoa... Well its been about a year since I have taken the time to write in this and Tim is playing midnight club 3 next to me up in the attic I got a wireless connection which is the best thing known to man... anyhow Hope is getting big she is three years old now she is finally making real efforts into potty training and she is speaking very well she is very smart it seems no matter what I say she knows what I am talking about..Anyway the anniversary of Tim and my engagement is on christmas... I wonder if Tim will even remember ? it doesnt matter i GUESS... hes going off with his family and I am staying here with mine ohh yeah the big license test fri
Bound Yourself

[27 Mar 2007|06:27pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I don't know wha it is lately that makes me feel so alone, but I don't as I used to....it feels like one person who loves me most doesn't even have the time to get to know me , even though he has all the time in the world.  All my friends are gone or too busy with their own shit to take time out for me. No one is given me any positive reinforcement  anymore not since I left school... it was a mistake yes and no... yes, because I am getting started on the things I need to now... no, because I miss my friends and I took all that time to go to that school and never even got my diploma. I never claimed to be a winner as a matter of fact I don't think I ever will. I miss everything...

<center><img src=http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs5/i/2004/303/b/0/_portrait_of_a_lonely_girl__by_shamelessidiocy.jpg><center>
<center><img src=http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs14/300W/f/2007/081/2/e/Love_is_suicide_by_17seconds.jpg></center>

Bound Yourself

[13 Mar 2007|09:36am]

It's been a whole year since I've even posted something in here as a matter of fact I forgot all about my livejournal... Alot of things change in such a little amount of time I completely lost myself or the person I used to be anyway, I still am not sure who that was or even who I am now,,,, but anyhow I don't go to the charter anymore that 1 year I supposed to be there turned to fucking three and that was bullshit in itself, but it's not the same school it used to be. I've decided I am going to get my GED I know it's not as good as a diploma, but I can still get into college with it and as far as I get there it doesn't matter how I did it. I wish to attend Becker College for their Veterinary Technology program.. That's what's gone on in the education portion of my life. I am currently working at Store 24 on Bridge St. it's a start you know I hope to work at Petco once I get my license and pay off my car which is sitting in Maine right now it's a 96 Buick LaSabre I am going for my permit today Wish me Luck...anyhow got

Bound Yourself

[05 Mar 2006|09:15pm]
All of these things I feel
Are things you'll never know
Because I keep them all inside
It's what I'll never show

You'll never see the tears
That fall each time I cry
You'll never see the pain I feel
Each time you say goodbye

You'll never know the sadness
That lives within my heart
You'll never see how broken it is
Or how it falls apart

You'll never see the depression
That grows inside my mind
Or know how horrible it feels
To still be left behind

You won't see the emptiness
That dwells behind my eyes
You'll never realize the smile
Is filled with deceiving lies

You don't see the tragic soul
That grows beneath my skin
Or how even in victory
I still can never win

You don't see the sorrowful words
That fail to reach my lips
You don't see demented way
That my heart slowly rips

You don't hear the haunting words
That repeat inside my head
You don't know that I wish for death
Every time I go to bed

You can't hear my heartbeat
That fades more every day
You'll never know how hurt I get
From all the things you say

Every time I say "okay"
When you ask me how I feel
You'll still never realize
That none of it is real
Bound Yourself

OMFg [27 Feb 2006|11:02pm]
Yeah so I got this test in psychology and I can't sleep now cause hawthorne heights cd is out in like 57 mins and I may have a heart attack also March 17 Hawthorne Heights Fall Out Boy and All American Rejects who could ask for more I AM SO GOING I dont care how I have to get there I am going I dont care,, I hope Tim and Debi will want to come with me.
Bound Yourself

azuzephre(awesome cartoons) [27 Feb 2006|10:15pm]






Bound Yourself

Cross-Cultural Perspectives Discussion Questions [22 Feb 2006|11:19pm]
Chapter 3: How universal are psychological theories?
An advantage of examining any psychological theory from the perspective of other cultures is the satisfaction of proving or disproving the particular theory as global or relative to the area in which it originated.

If Freud and Malinowski compared notes Freud could’ve come to the conclusion that boys dreamed of their father’s being harmed, not because they were their mother’s lover, but as resentment of the dominant male in their life.

Ochuse and Plug’s Research confuse the issue of invariance in Erikson’s stages of development , because according to Ochuse and Plug you need to develop a sense of identity through intimacy. According to Erikson you form an identity before you go through the intimacy stage.


Chapter 32: Cross-Cultural Differences In Sexual Jealousy
The differences in our expression of jealously in casual dating, steady dating, engagements, and marriages support Reiss’s idea that the role of jealousy is to define the boundaries of the group within which sexuality is permissible, the more jealousy in a relationship the more serious it seems to be, however in other cultures infidelity is not considered a reason to be jealously. In the beginning of a relationship it is necessary to determine what is acceptable and unacceptable.

One conclusion that can be drawn from Buunk and Hupka’s study of elicit sexual behavior is in many cultures that they surveyed they found that the more industrialized a nation the more similarities were found flirting and sexual relationships were the most common reasons for concern and jealousy.

Bound Yourself

MY SONG [14 Jan 2006|01:17am]
I hate myself more than I ever let on. I’m burned out at 19. I lived too fast and I loved too much and I’ll die too young, but I chose this cup that I drank from. Knew what I was getting into. But I couldn’t let out what I had to keep in. No explanation for the things I’ve failed at before. They can’t hold my hand. It just hurts to be me. Through the tortures of the damned. If I only had an axe I’d sever the ties I’ve made with the world. Maybe I can be a stranger in a strange place If I start now, maybe I can be saved. If I only had a mask, I’d cover these bleeding eyes. They’re bloodshot now but they’ll be black by dawn. Look at me now, I’m on the tracks with my back towards the last train leaving town
1 bounded | Bound Yourself

[24 Oct 2005|03:50pm]
After hearing the ways that Athens and Sparta governed themselves we were leaning more towards Athens which we believed would grant us more freedom to make our own decisions. Will Sparta be able to win our vote when it comes to quality of life? Athens made it very clear to the people of Mantinea that they used some money from the Delian League to make repairs to their city caused by the Persian War, we can understand using the money to make repairs, but some of that money went to “ensure the gods were properly honored”. We believe that money should go to all that is necessary for the city-state. We are not rich people in fact we are more poor than anything and money that could go to feeding ourselves should not be going towards elaborate statues. Sparta on the other hand will not “use your money to selfishly beautify your own city”. They have no interest in wasting money on trivial things and reject all forms of outward displays of wealth. What did not appeal to me is how they send away seven year old boys to learn how to be a man, this is what leads us to start considering remaining neutral, but at this point I still want to remain with Athens.

Athens is now looking less and less appealing and remaining neutral is starting to become more realistic. Athens give their woman the responsibility to take care of their households
Bound Yourself

[23 Oct 2005|07:58am]
Tanya Mercier
Advanced English



"A Bittersweet Memory"

From a distance Sylvia Plath seemed to lead the perfect life she exceled in school and strived for perfection in every aspect of her life. She went onto college got married and had children she wrote hundreds of poems most of which were published, but despite all of this Sylvia commited suicide leaving behind her two children. Why did Sylvia Plath kill herself? Do you think she could've gotten help? What events lead up to her self destruction? I believe that there are many events not just one that lead up to Sylvia's suicide and I will state them here.

Sylvia was born on October 27, 1932 during her childhood around eight years of age her father Otto died of diabetes just days after her birthday. After this tragic even she published her first poem she always strived for perfection in every aspect of her life she went on to Smith College in 1950 on a scholarship. In college Sylvia wrote hundreds of poems some of which have been published. She was at the top of the class and technically should've been happy and was probably percieved to be, however in the year 1953 she had her heart set on being accepted in Harvard's creative writing course this greatly impacted Sylvia's self esteem and although she didn't show how hurt she was inside in August Sylvia attempted suicide by means of sleeping pills. Her attempt obviously failed, but she was institutionalized for the next few months her treatment included shock therapy and insulin therapy. Despit all the chaos going on around her and even inside her mind she was concentrating and even collecting materials for her novel and short story "Johnny Panic and The Bible Of Dreams". It seems to me that her poems were a way for her to escape the situation she put herself in, and a way for her to escape the pain and torment going on inside her.

Just two years after her first suicide attempt Sylvia started dating while attending Newnham College at Cambridge University , but most of which ended up in dead end relationships and until 1956 when she met her husband to be Ted Hughes also a well know writer. They married four months after they met and Ted Hughes wrote about their wedding in a poem "A Pink Wool Knitted Dress". In 1957 Sylvia was asked to teach english at Smith College where she once attended , however this meant moving back to America she decided that she wanted to accept the offer she returned to American with her husband Ted. Sylvia seemed to be very pleased about teaching english at the very college that she started out at, however she shortly became overwhelmed by teaching and the excitement that she once felt was gone. She chose to take a position in Mass General as a receptionist and started therapy up with Rob Lowell the therapist that she saw after her suicide attempt her husband was not aware of this. In 1959 Sylvia found out that she was pregnant and returned to England with Ted to give birth to their daughter Frieda in the spring of 1960. Sylvia had always put on this act of well being, but on the inside she was hurting and beaten down no one in my opinnon ever really never how she was feeling she didn't want people to know about her flaws. She made it look like she had burst of energy she'd scrub her apartment for hours when she was pregnant, but on the inside she suffered from exhaustion and felt like she could no longer go on.

Another hardship faced Sylvia in the year 1961 she had a miscarriage she wrote of this experience in a poem called "Parliament Hill Fields"."Brood, rooted in their heaped losses.Brood, rooted in their heaped losses.Your cry fades like the cry of a gnat.I lose sight of you on your blind journey,While the heath grass glitters and the spindling rivulets Unspool and spend themselves. My mind runs with them," taken from "Parliament Hill Fields". In 1962 Sylvia found out she was pregnant on January 17 her son Nicholas was born weighing 9 pounds 11 ounces feeling distressed she noticed that Ted was disappointed he had a son and for a while seemed distant. Once her son was born she used the morning to write her poems such poems included "Little Fugue", "An Appearance", "Crossing the Water", "Among the Narcissi", "Pheasant", "Elm", "Event and The Rabbit Catcher". During this year Ted was openly flirting with a women named Assia who rented the apartment above them, although Sylvia never said anything about this she wrote poems about it. To keep up appearances with her mother she wrote to her stating "this is the richest and happiest time of my life". In July Sylvia's suspicisions of Ted's infidelty were confirmed by a suspicious call from Assia she had been trying to disguish her voice and that was all Sylvia needed for proof.

After the shock of Ted's infidelty had set in and her emotions took over she built a fire and burned the sequel to the novel she wrote Bell Jar she later on burnt thousands of letter she had been saving from her mother Aurelia. Ted and Sylvia attempted to repair their marriage by taking a trip to Ireland, but this attempt failed miserably Ted left three days before their schedule departure and told her how he never wanted children. After this incident she wrote poems such as "A Secret", "The Applicant", "Daddy", "Medusa", "The Jailer", "Lesbos", "Stopped Dead", "Fever 103", "Amnesiac", "Lyonesse", "Cut", "By Candlelight", "The Tour", "Poppies In October", "Ariel", "Purdah", "Nick And The Candlestick", "The Couriers", "Getting There", "The Night Dances", "Gulliver", "Thalidomide", "Letter In Nov", and "Death & Co", "Lady Lazarus", and Daddy". The day of her birthday she wrote to more poems labeled "Poppies in October" and "Ariel". "The dew that flies,Suicidal, at one with the drive Into the red Eye, the cauldron of morning." taken from Ariel. Their were so many hints that she was thinking about commiting suicide she was so depressed all she wanted to do was lead a "normal" life and everything that could go bad went wrong. "outcast on a cold star, unable to feel anything but an awful helpless numbness. "I look down into the warm, earthy world. Into a nest of lovers' beds, baby cribs, meal tables, all the solid commerce of life in this earth, and feel apart, enclosed in a wall of glass." written six months before her suicide. "In the early morning of February 11, 1963, however, Plath set some bread and milk in the children's room then cracked their window and sealed their door off with tape. She went downstairs and, after sealing herself in the kitchen, knelt in front of the open oven and turned the gas on. Her body was discovered that morning by a nurse scheduled to visit and the construction worker who helped her get into the house."
I believe that Sylvia Plath killed herself because she felt like no matter what she did she would never meet her on expectations. She strived for perfection and the only thing in her life that she could actually perfect and control was her writing and for many years that's what kept her going, it's what helped her through her father's death, suicide/depression, and her husband's infidelity. I think no matter how much help she could've received it wouldn't have helped, because she was in a state of mind she couldn't escape and it seems like she was like that for a long time it was like habit hard to break away from the relationship with Ted Hughes didn't help and even her children seemed more like a burden than a blessing especially after Ted left her for Assia. It is claimed that she had bipolar which can be treated with medication if you are willing to work towards getting better with the meds and given Sylvia's surroundings I don't think they would've helped Sylvia's toxic mind. Sylvia remains one of my favorite poets it's fun to analyze her poems and try to imagine what she was thinking or even relate them to a situation I am in.
Bound Yourself

[05 Oct 2005|10:03am]
Bound Yourself

Cats Anyone?? [30 Jul 2005|10:36am]
Evicted tenant leaves a stinky situation
By MICHAEL LAFLEUR, Sun Staff



LOWELL -- City health inspectors this week were issuing Lowell landlord Steven Lombardo a $300 ticket for allowing a stinking mound of trash to gather flies on a Lower Highlands neighborhood street, when they came to a surprise realization.

The recently evicted tenant, whom Lombardo had told to dump her
trash on Leroy Street, had also left 20 cats in her 21 Maple Place apartment, according to Lowell Health Director Frank Singleton.

Maple Place is a 3-foot-wide alley off Leroy Street. The trash had been left on the sidewalk since Saturday, prompting neighbors to complain.

Yesterday, there were 14 cats left in the apartment, Singleton said. City officials were reluctant to take responsibility for the cats, fearing they would have to be euthanized at $20 per cat if they could not be adopted.

On Wednesday, city health officials cited Lombardo for the problem and ordered him to remove the cats and provide adequate care for them.

Lombardo could not be reached for comment.

“If he allows the animals to be abused, if they're not being fed, they're not getting water, we'll bring in the Humane Society,” Singleton said. “Right now, that doesn't look like it's the case.”

A tour of the property's exterior yesterday morning turned up no signs of cats. Later, however, Singleton said the animals were not in the apartment at the time because they were being allowed to roam the neighborhood.

“So now it's worse,” he said.


Yeah I know where they are the all went in my backyard so if anyone wants a cat please contact me, or they will all be captured and put to sleep!! They are beautiful loving cats
Bound Yourself

Best Band [28 Jul 2005|07:37pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]



I just bought the silence in black and white and I love that cd I put it straight onto my ipod and have been listening to it every night before I go to sleep and when I wake up it kicks ass ....

FIVE STARS

Anyway my mom took the day of tommorow and didn't tell me about it she is takin me and Hope somewhere to anyone that knows her yes she is leaving the house!!!!

Bound Yourself

[15 May 2005|07:28am]
AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Step mania problems all I want is to play fucking stepmania but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo my computer has to be a bitch about it everything on his computer is broken my camera printer internet everything FUCK YOU computer aka BOB
Bound Yourself

[10 May 2005|11:43am]
Bound Yourself

[10 May 2005|10:02am]
Bound Yourself

[10 May 2005|09:41am]




Bound Yourself

[27 Apr 2005|09:31am]
I am not going to be able to update for a really long time, because my computer is broken and i need to buy a new one and you all know that I am broke so that may take a really long time so I love you all and I am doing fine and I will talk to you some time in the next three months maybe sooner but probably not. Peace OUT MCL
Bound Yourself

Relief [03 Apr 2005|08:32am]
I finally finished my stupid poster for American History today yay hell yeah my aunt invited tim is going with me and my mom and hope to my aunt's today it should be pretty cool and then later I think we are going to the carnival and those are my plans today Boo yah omg Debi my mom invited Tim over for supper tommorow I think she is in Love LOL she's trying to steal him ICKY anywho see is making meatballs and I told her to put onion soup mix in them so that is my story and I am done I don't know when you want to go to the carnival maybe tuesday after school ??? I don't know keep in touch LOVE ALWAYS PENGUINFLUFFER
Bound Yourself

[31 Mar 2005|04:02pm]
[ mood | Kinky ]



HOTTTT

Anywho I got cereal today so tomorrow no one will be able to contact me cause you know its friday and that's what happens and stuff Friday night my mom babysits it's pretty cool. I mean that's really cool that I have a designated night that I get to be a normal teenager not to mention I am able to go out after Hope goes to sleep cause she never wakes up during the night and even if she did I am a call away and I never go to far but yeah made success thursday again OH BABY SO SUCCESSFUL and hell yeah I am good at what I do when I do that thing I do bored don't ask got issues well not really I got rid of that cd only the trees only the fish only the bugs and only the water truly really know what happened that night what right went wrong Smoking HYDRO you sick freeks

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby

Such a sexy,sexy pretty little thing
Fierce nipple pierce you got me sprung with your tongue ring
and I ain't gonna lie cause your loving gets me high
So to keep you by my side there's nothing that I won't try
Butterflies in her eyes and looks to kill
Time is passing I'm asking could this be real
Cause I can't sleep I can't hold still
The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal

I can feel too much is never enough
You're always there to lift me up
When these times get rough I was lost Now I'm found
Ever since you've been around
You're the women that I want
So yo, I'm putting it down.

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

I don't deserve you unless it's some kind of hidden message
to show me life is precious
Then I guess it's true
But to tell truth, I really never knew
T'll I met you... See I was lost and confused
Twisted and used up
Knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it

My lifestyle's wild I was living like a wild child
Trapped on a short leash paroled the police files
So yo. what' s happening now?
I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds
and a vision of you standing out in a crowd.

Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Hey sugar momma, come and dance with me
The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me
Whatever tickles your fancy
Girl it's you like Sid and Nancy
So sexy....almost evil Talkin' about butterflies in my head
I used to think happy endings were only in the books I read but
you made me feel alive when I was almost dead

You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase
and as far as I can see it don't get better than this
So butterfly, here is a song and it's sealed with a kiss
and a thank you miss.

come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
so come and dance with me
uhhhhh ha uhhh ha

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

Come my lady
Come come my lady
you're my butterfly
Sugar.baby
come my lady you're my
pretty baby ill make your legs shake
you make me go crazy

come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
uhhhhhh ha uhhhhhh ha
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me
come and dance with me

Bound Yourself

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